For some time now I have been fighting the demons of right and wrong. It is a daily struggle to ward off the bad vibes I wake up feeling each day. Getting out of bed every day is a trial for me. I don't know how to wake up happy. I frequently wake up feeling like a lousy human being, but the rational side of me knows that I am most likely not much worse than anyone else.
I wrestle so often with the feeling that I have to accomplish a certain number of "good" things each day to feel like I am living up to my Godly potential, but as a Christian I know that faith is key and good works alone are not the answer.
So my conundrum.............I KNOW I have faith and I am greatly in love with God and his creation. I am in awe of all that He has made. I am so thankful for the gifts given to me. My husband, my amazing children, the home I grew up in, my dear friends, my church community, my job. The list is endless.
Yet, I still feel as though what I do is not enough and sometimes that God cannot love me for my shortcomings.
I want to wake up feeling God's love for me as the broken person I am and to know that every day is an adventure toward being better. I want to know that despite my lousiness, I am still ok in God's eyes.